I took this part time job in a financial office last November as an administrative assistant to one of the agents. We needed/need the 2nd income. For me, personally.. it was a way to feel useful, something to do with myself.  So recently my boss offered me an apprenticeship.  I would need to get licensed in life insurance and annuities.  From there he would mentor me, take me on appointments and share his business, making some good money in the process.  With the pressures of our financial woes at home, I thought this was a wonderful opportunity to help contribute more and then maybe Dave and I would argue less about money.  Dave and I have discussed this opportunity a few times, but more in depth last night.

For him, I believe it’s important that I’m home with Gavin.  If I took this apprenticeship, I’d have to put in at least 40 hours a week.  That in itself would conflict with the whole reason that I went part time in the first place, and that is so I’m home with Gavin.  Working 40 hours including nights and weekends could turn into 50 hours or even more.. then before you know it, I’m spending less and less time with my husband and Gavin.  Dave said I can do what I want to do. We talked about having more kids.. how would this new opportunity fit in with that? Dave said he doesn’t want him and Gavin to hold me back from potentially a new and rewarding career.. and asked me if that’s what I feel.

Is being a wife and mother holding me back?  I’m not sure.  I need to think and decide just what it is that I want.  Maybe now Dave will have a better understanding of how I feel about our finances? Has this, in a sense, made him aware of how his pressuring sometimes makes me think that I should make these decisions based on whether or not I’ll enough make money, instead of how such a decision will impact my family life?  If I wasn’t a wife and mother, would I still take this opportunity and run with it? That’s the question I need to ponder.

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