An End to Fumblings

As promised in my old blog, I’ll explain what happened and why I had to put an end to my Fumblings blog. It is unfortunate, but I had to do it.

Many years ago I met a guy. We went on a couple dates but ultimately remained just friends. We’ve always had this spiritual connection, it’s so hard to explain. My mom knows what I mean. It’s as if you’ve always known the person. As if you were connected somehow from another place. another time. another life. We’ve remained in contact with one another for about 11 years. He’s always been someone I respected and admired. He was polite, and soft hearted.

The past 6 months he hadn’t been returning my emails. I was beginning to worry. I sent him a couple text messages to his cell phone. Turns out they weren’t going to him anymore and his number wasn’t his number anymore. So anyway I was dumb founded that we’d completely lost touch for the first time in 11 years. I knew he had moved out to Arizona, so I looked him up. found his home number.

The last we chatted, he was getting engaged, so I wasn’t surprised to hear a female voice answer. Found out my friend was in Iraq, sub-contracted through the military. He’s a computer programmer. Her and I chatted for about 10 minutes. She seemed very sweet. Told her about the twins. She asked me to email her pictures. I told her "C" and I had been friends for a long time. She said she’d tell him I called.

Later that evening we get a "private call" some woman asking to speak to Dave. Dave said it was some chick asking that I not call her husband anymore. That she’s uncomfortable knowing that he and I used to date. It was just all so weird to me. Something wasn’t sitting right with me. Dave and I didn’t bring it up much with each other. I had emailed "C" after talking to her, telling him I found out he was in Iraq and that I hope he’s well.

Two days later I recieve a reply email back from him. Telling me to stay out of his life. He called me a disgusting pig and an embarassment to all women. That he only kept in touch all these years because he felt sorry for me, that he never really liked me. I was shocked and appauled!! I know he had to have BCC’d his wife to show her he sent it to me. I don’t know what happened. Don’t know when or how I became this negative person in his life. What happened to our friendship all these years? This woman he married changed him. He’s not the same person. not the same soul. I told Dave, my husband, how upset I was. I was hurt. He said I should just let him go. Regardless if he sent that for his wife’s eyes to see, it doesn’t change the fact that he hit that send button and said those horrible things.

Then the next day my MySpace, my photo albums, and my blog are all getting horrible comments and messages. I know it’s his wife acting like a child. She obtained the links through my email signature at the bottom of my original email to "C"  I told Dave what she was doing. Originally we were going to call her and tell her that if she leaves us alone, we’ll leave her alone. But then we thought why bother. So I’m letting him go. Who knows, maybe 5, 10 years from now, he will turn back into the "C" I knew and apologize. It’s hard losing a friend like that. Someone who I thought was very special and was a special part of my life. Those that knew of him (mom, my other friends) are all shocked.

So this is the new place. If you’re a regular reader, remember to change your blogroll with my new blag name and address. I still haven’t decorated the place. That’ll come in time. Thanks for following me over.

6 Responses to “An End to Fumblings”

  • erik:

    Hello! I found you through the new NaBloPoMo Randomizer. I just wanted to say, it’s too bad that there are people like that in the world.

  • The Randomizer sent me to you. I think it is providence because i have know people like “C” in my past (and present) as well.

    I’m sorry you had to experience the change of “C” and know your friend is married to such a negative influence. Hopefully in time he will see the oppression or she will lighten up! You just never know.

  • Hey I’m here from the Randomizer too; I’m so sorry to read this, but unfortunately yours isn’t the first story like this I’ve read–can you believe it?

    One of my friends went through something similar with what she thought was one of her best friends in the world. Who knows what goes on in their heads, but you can’t worry about that as you have your own life to live.

    Indeed, it sounds like you have a lovely life despite all this childish stuff, so just focus on that and continue to be good to those that truly love you.

    Nice to “meet” you 🙂

  • I found you through the Randomizer too. I feel bad for what happened with you and your friend. I have an old boyfriend that I keep in touch with for similar reasons – I think maybe he was my brother in a previous life, LOL! Because when we went out we fought like cats and dogs, bickering all the time. Now that we’re just phone friends (we talk about three or four times a year) we get along well. It must have been devastating to have C tell you such mean things. Maybe it’s being in Iraq that has messed him up…but as your husband says I guess you just have to let it go. It’s sad though…

  • Shea:

    Ugh. People are just so ridiculous.

    Links are updated. Hang in there… Sometimes they come around eventually…

  • Geez. I went through something similar right after I got married. My BFF from high school just up and stopped talking to me. I tried my best to keep in contact with her; sent her cards, went to her apartment, called, emailed. Nothing. I am still unsure of what happened. I mourned our relationship for awhile but realized that I did my best to make things work. Obvioulsly, there was something else going on that I wasn’t aware of. It’s definitely sad to lose a close friend especially when you aren’t really sure what just happened!

    Keep your chin up. Hopefully he will realize how hurtful he is being…


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